As in what am I going to decide to do on Monday at our ultrasound--find out if it's a boy or a girl or wait and be surprised. I still don't know what my final decision will be. I have wavered back and forth the last couple of weeks because Troy has made a strong argument in favor of knowing; however, I really do want to be surprised.
A couple of people have told me that it's my body so I should ultimately have the final decision. As much as I would like to claim that and take the easy way out of it I don't feel that is fair to Troy. The baby is just as much his as it is mine. I just get the privilege and challenge of carrying the baby. So, ignoring Troy's feelings is out and I'm back at wavering.
Troy's argument (which I am choosing not to share the details of) is valid and strong. Based on our experience with Luke it makes sense but it's not as simple as wanting to know so we can decorate the nursery or buy girl stuff if that is the case. A couple of people have told me that they agree with him in his argument and based on that alone they would find out. The only problem with the argument for me is there is no guarantee that Troy is right. If I could know for sure that he was I would agree and find out. So, again no decision based on his argument alone (at least for me).
And then there's my argument that this is the only surprise factor in this whole thing. As I've mentioned previously I'll be having a repeat c-section so the actual birth day will be scheduled (unless of course the baby decides to come quite early and I go into labor which is possible but not too likely in my head). Other factors of this pregnancy make the gender being the only surprise more of a big deal to me too. There aren't very many true surprises in life and I do like a good surprise. Troy says that no matter when we find out it will still be surprise which is true but I do have more patience than he does (I'm not bragging only telling the truth). So, no decision based on my argument alone either.
We have discussed just having Troy find out but he is concerned he may not be able to keep it a secret from me and also it wouldn't really help his argument if only he knew. So that option is out.
The other tough part of this decision is that Troy is going out of town for the weekend. He's leaving this afternoon and won't be home until Sunday afternoon which doesn't leave us with a lot of face time to talk this through. I have a bad feeling that this might come down to a last minute decision which isn't what I want to happen. My goal is to have this figured out no later than Sunday night. Wish me luck!
(Just so that I can remember, the final poll results on finding out or being surprised were 9 to 8 in favor of finding out.)